what the ....

perverts in my network of friends in friendster! gosh, can't they do the search via google or yahoo or something else? it's pretty sick and embarassing realizing the fact that people viewing my profile are gonna read this and make assumptions. stupid, stupid and stupid.

good news to me

ok.. i've checked and i've checked it again. after calculations and re-calculations, i've found that my current BMI is 26.6. remember that on my first blog i wrote it was 27.3? hmm.. seem that all the things i'm doing works out. just to keep doing it consistently.

reminiscence

things happens
people walking by
as i watch on this edged wooden chair
a fine line i created without no lines;

here and there
i’ve been to places
to find something, someone
but in the end in despair;

a photograph on a wall
reminds me of something i've been
i've become...
but no more;

people telling me
of things they want to be
ask the same questions
silence stares everywhere
again... in despair;

things i've said
i wish i am
in between the lines
hope they understand
that's just who i am;

impulsiveness
is that free-will?
or just stupidity at it's best
or a double edge sword
stabbing blindly
untill it hits the aim

something at my back
it's just a knife
not suprised
not suprised at all

walking slowly
i've found a place
i lay down
i've found a place
i can have peace
i can have peace.

the wind blowing
a strange feeling deep inside
elavated
look up and see
maybe that's me
maybe that's me

i am mine

The selfish. They're all standing in line.
Fathing and hoping to buy themselves time.
He I figure as each breath goes by.
I only own my mind.

The north is to south what the clock is to time.
There's east and there's west and there's
everywhere lines.
I know I was born and I know that I'll die.
The in between is mine.
I am mine.

And the feeling it gets left behind.
All the innocence lost at one time.
Significant behind the eyes.
There's no need to hide.
We're safe tonight.

The ocean is full cause everyone's crying.
The full moon is looking for friends at high tide.
The sorrow grows bigger when the sorrows denied.
I only know my mind.
I am mine.

And the meaning it gets left behind.
All the innocents lost at one time.
Significant behind the eyes.
There's no need to hide.
We're safe tonight. What.

And the feelings that get left behind.
All the innocence broken with lies.
Significance between the lines.
We may need to hide.

And the meaning that get left behind.
All the innocence lost at one time.
We're all different behind the eyes.
There's no need to hide.

-pearl jam/riot act

mindwrecking!

/*
* Created on jan 23, 2005
*
*/
package com.skp.kaak.ui.auth;

import java.io.IOException;
import java.net.MalformedURLException;
import java.net.URL;

import javax.servlet.*;
import javax.servlet.http.*;

import com.skp.kaak.*;
import com.skp.kaak.ui.cache.*;
import com.skp.kaak.users.*;

/**
* @author fadhli
*
* The filter class that intercepts all request to protected resource in the
* web application. Those who are not authenticated are redirected to login.
*/
public class AuthFilter implements Filter{

public static final String SESSION_USER = "SESSION_USER";

// WARNING: the login path must be somewhere that don't need authentication!
public static final String CONFIG_LOGIN_PAGE = "auth.login.uri";

public static final String GROUP_ADMINISTRATORS = "administrators";

public final static String AMP_REPLACEMENT = "_____";

private static String CONTEXT_PATH;

private static String PUBLIC_URI = "/pub/";

private static String ADMIN_FOLDER = "/admin/";

private FilterConfig fc;

/* (non-Javadoc)
* @see javax.servlet.Filter#init(javax.servlet.FilterConfig)
*/
public void init(FilterConfig fc) throws ServletException {
this.fc = fc;
URL url = null;
try {
url = fc.getServletContext().getResource("/");
} catch (MalformedURLException e) {
e.printStackTrace();
}
System.out.println("\nAuthFilter:init:path=" + url.getPath());
String path = url.getPath();
// get just the URI
int pos = path.indexOf('/', 5);
if (path.endsWith("/")){
path = path.substring(pos, path.length() - 1);
} else{
path = path.substring(pos, path.length());
}
CONTEXT_PATH = path;
System.out.println("AuthFilter:init:CONTEXT_PATH=" + CONTEXT_PATH);
PUBLIC_URI = path + PUBLIC_URI;
System.out.println("AuthFilter:init:PUBLIC_URI=" + PUBLIC_URI);
ADMIN_FOLDER = path + ADMIN_FOLDER;
System.out.println("AuthFilter:init:ADMIN_FOLDER=" + ADMIN_FOLDER);
}

public String getPublicURI(){
return PUBLIC_URI;
}

public String getAdminFolderURI(){
return ADMIN_FOLDER;
}

/* (non-Javadoc)
* @see javax.servlet.Filter#doFilter(javax.servlet.ServletRequest, javax.servlet.ServletResponse, javax.servlet.FilterChain)
*/
public void doFilter(ServletRequest req, ServletResponse res, FilterChain chain)
throws IOException, ServletException {

// check if the page doesn't need to be authenticated
HttpServletRequest hReq = (HttpServletRequest) req;
String reqUrl = hReq.getRequestURI();
//System.out.println("AuthFilter.doFilter:requested uri=" + reqUrl);
String qs = hReq.getQueryString();
//System.out.println("AuthFilter.doFilter:query string=" + qs);

if (reqUrl.startsWith(PUBLIC_URI)){
chain.doFilter(req, res);
} else{
// check if the user has been authenticated
HttpSession sess = hReq.getSession();
UserCache user = (UserCache) sess.getAttribute(SESSION_USER);
if (user == null){
// redirect to do login first
HttpServletResponse hRes = (HttpServletResponse) res;
String loginPage = SystemConfig.getValue(CONFIG_LOGIN_PAGE);
String qString = hReq.getQueryString();
if (reqUrl.length() > 1){
loginPage += "?redirect=" + reqUrl;
if (qString != null){
loginPage += "&qs=" + qString.replaceAll("\\&", AMP_REPLACEMENT);
}
}
hRes.sendRedirect(loginPage);
return;
} else{
if (reqUrl.startsWith(ADMIN_FOLDER)){
// check if user is System Administrators group
if (!UserManager.isUserInGroup(user.userId, GROUP_ADMINISTRATORS)){
HttpServletResponse hRes = (HttpServletResponse) res;
hRes.sendRedirect(CONTEXT_PATH + "/exception/access-denied.jsp");
return;
}
}
chain.doFilter(req, res);
}
}
}

/* (non-Javadoc)
* @see javax.servlet.Filter#destroy()
*/
public void destroy() {
// TODO Auto-generated method stub
}

}

/*
* Created on Jan 23, 2005
*
* To change the template for this generated file go to
* Window>Preferences>Java>Code Generation>Code and Comments
*/
package com.skp.mcms.ui.auth;

import java.io.*;

import javax.servlet.http.*;

import com.skp.kaak.*;
import com.skp.kaak.ui.utils.*;
import com.skp.kaak.users.*;
import com.skp.kaak.ui.cache.*;

/**
* @author fadhli
*
* Controller object to authenticate user.
*/
public class DoLogin extends HttpServlet {

public void doPost(HttpServletRequest req, HttpServletResponse res){

String userId = req.getParameter("userId");
String password = req.getParameter("password");
String redirect = req.getParameter("redirect");
String qs = req.getParameter("qs");

if (UserManager.authenticate(userId, password)){
// create UserCache and store in session
UserCache user = new UserCache();
user.userId = userId;
user.name = UserManager.getName(userId);
HttpSession sess = req.getSession();
sess.setAttribute(AuthFilter.SESSION_USER, user);

try{
if (redirect != null && redirect.length() > 0){
redirect = redirect + (qs == null? "" : "?" + qs.replaceAll(AuthFilter.AMP_REPLACEMENT, "&"));
res.sendRedirect(redirect);
} else{
Util.Web.sendRedirect(req, res, null);
}
} catch (IOException e){
e.printStackTrace();
}
} else{
try {
res.sendRedirect(SystemConfig.getValue(AuthFilter.CONFIG_LOGIN_PAGE));
} catch (IOException e) {
e.printStackTrace();
}
}

}

}

/*
* Created on Jan 23, 2005
*
* To change the template for this generated file go to
* Window>Preferences>Java>Code Generation>Code and Comments
*/
package com.skp.mcms.ui.auth;

import java.io.*;

import javax.servlet.http.*;

import com.skp.kaak.*;

/**
* @author fadhli
*
* Controller object to authenticate user.
*/
public class DoLogout extends HttpServlet {

public void doGet(HttpServletRequest req, HttpServletResponse res){

HttpSession sess = req.getSession();
sess.invalidate();

try {
res.sendRedirect(SystemConfig.getValue(AuthFilter.CONFIG_LOGIN_PAGE));
} catch (IOException e) {
e.printStackTrace();
}

}

}

and this is just 1/100 of all of it...

it's time like this i feel like i have no life.... ~~~sob

wishing for all of this to end quickly.

guitar/music/rhythm/blues

thinking back and retracing each step i took in my passion in music, i remembered my first note i played was the E note. the person that thaught me that very first note and spark my interest and then later turn into passion was my late father. i remembered how he can always somehow attract us siblings and be quiet to listen to him play his guitar. he knew a lot of great tunes and i use to sing along with him while he played. he can even play the piano (an instrument i wish i could explore). he passed away when i was 10 years old. it seems that somehow with playing the guitar, it's a way for me to 'relive' the moment. a way for me to relate to him.

but enough about that. it seems i've never stopped playing my guitar. my interest varies from time to time. from metallica(heavy metal) - nirvana - pearl jam(seattle sound) - butterfingers(malaysian rock band) - steve vai/ satriani/vinnie moore/gary moore/bode/eric clapton(guitar heroes) - lefthanded, wings, search - to new bands such as jet and the darkness. but now my main interest are blues/jazz and rock n roll songs. if people hear me play, probably they will hear a little bit of jimi hendrix in it with a tint of BB King along with all the mix match of my influences.

most people don't listen to the blues anymore. don't know why - i'm still figuring it out. i had a recent chat a while ago with abang rom, the owner of ROTTW (Rhythm of The Third World) magazine regarding why people today can't play as well as guitar players in the 70s and 80s. he clearly defined that they don't have enough blues in them. you see at that moment, the relativeness seems far fetch from what i thought back then. but then i tried to relate between the blues scales and the blues chord progressions with modern rock songs we have today. and it totally make sense. it seems that the chords used today are derived from the blues. the scales in doing a solo will always have a bit of blues. hearing back ngwie malmsteen, there's always a bit of blues in his solo. the same for vai and satriani. and even jet as well as the darkness. they say that in the early years of the blues, it was the "devil song" because of it explicit lyrics (not all of em). from the blues, came rock n roll. jimi hendrix, led zepplin, gary moore, aerosmith, rolling stones, etc. pink floyd has a lot of blues sounds in their songs. if you heard butterfingers new album, the song 'merpati sejoli' is a total rock n roll song with a 12 bar blues progression (but creatively mix with other influences). you can also hear a lot of blues licks in pearl jam songs.

even if you hear nelly's 'Hot in Herrr'. a trained ear can easily identify that it's a blues/jazz chord pattern. the thing making it sounds so hip hop is mostly probably the beat. even rapping is from the way blues/jazz legends such as BBKing, Ray Charles, Quincy Jones, etc often talks/raps in many of their songs. only back than it was never called rapping. it was just as it was.

my point is - guitar players should take a step back and play the blues. it's simple but complex. it's sweet and harmony while heavy and harsh in the same time. and it could certainly teach you somehow in your guitar playing. and one thing - even though you know the pentatonic scale/blues scales, playing the blues is much more than that. ask around, play, experience - and you'll soon find out what i mean.

sleepless in batu pahat

it's been days since i had a proper quality sleep. quality sleep? sense a few eyebrows lifted. well, it's not really about how long you sleep but how well you sleep and how fresh you feel in the morning. i know that it's not the perfect definition of quality sleep but at least that's what i think of it.

i am among thousands or perhaps millions of people who suffer from sleep problems. i tend to wake up very early eventhough i sleep late at night. for instance, lets say that i slept at 4 o'clock in the morning but then i woke up at 8 am. i tried to continue my sleep but my body just won't let me. eventhough i feel very tired but i just won't sleep.

probably i think too much. sometimes i got so much on my mind but sometimes i get so blurred and so blank to the point that i don't do anything at all. this sunday, i spent all my time in the internet doing nothing at all. when you have broadband connection at home, you tend to put long hours on browsing webpages one by one to the point that you have no idea on what you're looking at.

talking about websites, i think the most addictive thing among people my age is friendster and myspace. it has nothing special apart from the fact that you could see other profiles of your friends and your friend's friend and so on. probably it's the fact that you could see other people stuff and pics to find out found out something about the girl/guy. and if you like to be friends with someone you're attracted to, you could easily send a message or add him/her as your friend. sounds boring right? but once you've started it, you're gonna get hook with it. when you start to see your list of friends and it keeps on adding up, you tend to find more people to add. then suddenly, it's somehow turns into a popularity contest. one person could even have multiple profiles because of the account limits. suddenly this friendster thing is a hobby among teenagers these day. i remembered and i quote from a father of my friend,"kids these day are so lucky, you got to see so many beautiful girls and get to know them just by clicking," well that's not the exact words but you get the idea. thinking about it, it does have some benefits but what significants does it make. does it change the world? does it change the way we work? does it change the way we think? does it change anything?

i think that's enough for me now. to those who stumbled upon my page, thanks for reading. thanks for even reading the headings. i know pages with long text bore you but i don't mind at all. after all, this is my personal ramblings and thoughts that sparkle from my mind.

another new beginning, my resolution, my ramblings

it seems that one year has pass so quickly. thinking back the things that i've accoplished, i really haven't done anything significant for myself or others relevant to me. at the moment, i have no idea to write in this first blog of mine. but maybe i could tell something about myself.

here it goes.... my name is fadhli otherwise known as pali. sometimes my friends do call me faley and i seem to like it. what's in a name right?

currently i'm in my last semestar of my degree in software engineering in a local university in batu pahat. i'm originally from shah alam. from where i'm from, this place (my university) is so much different. i remembered the first time i came here i was in a state of what we call a 'culture shock'. believe me... if you ever heard of a place called parit raja in batu pahat, you'll probably understand why. but after a while, i got used to this place but i never ever really liked this place. everything about it is so wayback, so disfunctional and so dissarray. the only thing that keeps me going is because of my studies. i don't really have a choice actually. either a degree or nothing at all.

and with that in mind, i've been here for four damn years. hopefully this will be the last 3 months i'll be here and leave this place for good. academically wise, i'm doing pretty OK. no drop subjects, no failed subjects - just straight ahead with the program. only three months now till i graduated. and after that, who knows? probably i'll rest for 2 weeks - hell- make it a 2 months before i find a proper job that suits with my degree. but talking about jobs, IT is not really a demand right now. nobody wants to hire a degree holder to create web sites when even a school boys can do it. "better pay less for more," thats the current trend right now. but then again, i think i have the neccessary skills to step up to play and be what i want to be. the only real question is - what do i want to do?

i'm pretty decent in playing the guitar. even did some small gigs in my hometown. but i don't think music is the way to go. in malaysia, you can't be rich by selling your songs. people's appreciation of music and the respect for their authors are pretty low here. probably they never heard of intellectual properties. maybe they never thought about how hard and even fustrating it is to make one decent likeable song. talking about song writing, i often found myself to be very limiting since i only can play a guitar. i don't even have a proper education of music theory and notations. i wonder if i still have the time to learn?

i however can do some programming and graphic desings for templates, presentations, etc. probably i'll do some freelancing jobs before i land a job. by the way, i'm bounded by contract with JPA. but with the current economy and trends in the industry, i think the chances of me actually obtaining a job within the government agencies are pretty slim.

someting just came up, since this is the first day of 2005 i'm gonna write my resolutions for this year.

first, i want to workout more. exercise regularly and maintain a healty diet. build muscles and burn excess fats in my body. my body mass index is currently 27.3. the optimum BMI is 20-25.

second, i want to practice my guitar skills and techniques so i could be a defined guitarist like my idols - gary moore, jimi hendrix, stevie ray vaughan, steve vai, ngwie malmsteen, vinnie moore and zack wylde. i know it's gonna take time and effort to this but when there is a will there is way.

third, finish up my degree with a decent CPA score and try to get a job as soon as possible.

that's it. yeah, you're probably wondering why it's only three. well, it's because if i put more, i'm afraid i couldn't achieve anything. and i think i gonna stop here now. enough of my ramblings on the first early day of 2005.