I have a new blog.

Hello, it has been a while since I written here. Here's my new blog (click the link below).

Thoughts In My Head

looks like an upcoming heavy storm

man, i thought i'll be less busier this month but it seems things has been working againts me. i can't find the time to write or even rant about all the things that has been going on in my life. i think it's best if i close down this blog. so good bye guys!.

half-way of 2005

June is soon to end. It also means that we’re reaching the half-way mark of this year. I remembered about my new year’s resolution. I’ve nearly forgotten all about it when suddenly a friend of mine talking about his resolutions for this year. What he done so far and so on. So here is mine.

Resolution #1

It was for me to loose some weight. Well it’s been weeks since I last workout and I think that I may have added some weight. I feel bloated all the time. Man, how it really sucks to be fat!

Resolution #2

To further enhance my abilities of playing the guitar. I’m sloppy. My level of playing is still at the same level as before. I don’t have the motivation to learn right now. The only thing I do with my guitar is I pick it up, plug it in and whack it senseless until I’m tired of listening to myself or until my mum or my next door neighbor yells for me to stop.

Resolution #3

Aha! We’ve finally reach the one that I’ve totally nailed it. I’ve graduated (with a decent CGPA score) and got me self a good decent job. Been working like crazy these past few weeks but it gives me a genuine satisfaction of the job done.

I’m still working on #1 and #2. It just needs time. Like the old saying,”…..,” I forgot what the old saying is (darn, it’s like I’m high or something). Anyway, I think I’ll be adding up two more which I have thought about it for sometime but was/am afraid of declaring it. Just because the other side of me thinking that if you write more, you’ll do less. And so my extended resolution is to do/have as follow.

Resolution #4

Quit smoking

Resolution #5

A girlfriend

Now suddenly number 4 seems so much easier to do.

About a girl

First of all, sorry for the lack of updates. Been way too busy with my work. Anyway, here goes the story of a recent event I'd experienced.

Nothings make you more furious when you’re been misunderstood. This is a story about a friend of mine. I had the chance to be acquainted with her last year and we only became close early this year after her dad passed away. I knew the pain and suffering of someone who lost a father because I lost mine since I was merely 10 years old. Because of that, I believe that it was important for her to have somebody to talk to whenever she needed someone to listen to her especially someone who had been there and experience the same pain of losing a dearly beloved kin. Even to this day, that deep hollowed feeling is still there and I believe will always be there inside of me. Somehow, strangely in our series of conversations I found myself in her. Comforting her as if I hoped someone had comfort me when I was growing up. To tell the truth, I was alone struggling with my own issues of dealing with the death of my father. It was not easy for me and I don’t think it will be easy for anybody facing the same experience.

And now, she currently has a boyfriend and the guy seems to be so jealous of my relationship with her to the point that he gave me some sort of a threat. This threat was a warning for me not to be close to her including insults that I could not tolerate as a man. I believe it was uncalled for, unreasonable and childish. An act of foolishness of someone who makes an open threat intending that I will be intimidated without knowing the person he’s threatening. The most obtuse thing about his action is that he made it through his handphone using sms (short messaging system). To me, it just shows the nature and character of a coward person. If he was dead serious about it, he should’ve at least has the decency of meeting me and telling it straight to my face. Now after this incident, I have no respect for him in any sort of way. The ironic thing of all is I shook hands with this guy believing that we’re all cool and would hang out someday together.

For your information, I only meet this friend of mine once in a while. We don’t go and hang out that much and the only way I communicate with her is through the phone. Somehow, in some peculiar way, this guy feels that I am the largest threat to him. Man, how wrong can someone be?

2 jobs, a girl and an ex-girlfriend

i have been so busy this recent week. for those who'd been reading my blog since i first started. you'll maybe remember that i'd mention before that i wanted to take a break for as long as i want after i finish my studies. but it turns out, i changed my mind. the break was short. i attended job interviews.

first, i would like to thank kudo for giving me insights on writing a good resume. 'no bullshitting' as he would say it. from that resume, i've managed to get a couple of interviews. i think it was four actually. there was this one day that i had two interviews on the same day. thank god it was not on the same time. from those interviews, two companies are offering me an oppurtunity to work with them. so i'll just write bout my experiences with these two companies during the job interview.

company A is a private computer consultant company looking for java programmers urgently. the interview at company A was held last Saturday (9th April). and the interview for company B was two days after. the interview was kinda short, they even gave me a print of error messages from a web server to identify and try to debug it. tell them what's wrong with the webpage their building. luckily it was something that i was familiar with. apart from that, i also showed them my thesis and my work and he was kinda impress (at least) and he even said that he will recommend me to the human resource department. 15 minutes is all the time the interviewer can spare me.

now, company B is a big private company with vast business investments and operations and their business are not mainly on computer solutions. been about 3 decades in the industry and very very stable. they were also looking for java programmers. but i had to take a test first to see my level of programming skill as well as my knowledge of the java technology and design and so on. there was 2 interview session and man, they really know where to nail you. it was really really tough. especially the ones when they ask you what do you see yourself as in 3-5 years time if you're accepted in the company. i didn't even remembered what spurred out from my mouth. i also showed them my thesis and explain to both of 'em about my final project. the whole test and interview took about 2 hours. i left the building with a mix match feeling thinking that my chances are slim.

the funny thing is, when i was taking that test, company A called my mobile (thank god it was in silent mode and not during the interview) and said that my application was successfull and they wanted me to report immediately on that same day. and there was i trying to think on what should i reply to them. so i ended up replying that i needed 3 days to consider. a short pause at the other end. then she (the person from company A) was insisting that i come immediately to report to work. i said that i'm attending an interview as we speak and i'll call back later to discuss on it. the moment i said that i felt like an idiot. you know how hard it is for fresh grads especially fresh IT grads to find a job and suddenly you're thinking about considering it?

after the interview, i called back company A and said that i'll be reporting to work on the 14th and i was glad that they were cool with it.

13th April, 4:00 pm. i received a phone call from company B and they said that my application was succesful. it was an answer that i was hoping for these past few days. i trully hoped that i would succeed on getting the job from this company. i'd talked about it the whole week to my friends about it. mesti diorang kata aku dah berangan2 pasal benda ni.

so here's the tricky part. i'd already said to company A that i'll be coming to work on the date comfirmed. but i haven't signed any kind of agreement yet. so i think that i am not obliged or 'terikat' with them. but the hardest part would be calling them and say that i am turning down their offer. how do you turn down a job offer the proper way?

so anyway, thinking back, i think that my final project finally paid off. the daunting hours of coding and debugging the system really helped me in a lot of ways. i even had sleepless nights in completing the project and thesis. the whole process of learning to code line by line and understanding the whole concept of programming really helped me to land this job. my gratitude to my lecturers and friends who continued to show support in my interest and in my studes. my gratitude also extends to tricksy for encouraging me to learn the language. 'boleh cari makan dengan java' eh? it turns out to be so true.

so for those IT students out there. you gotta find something that you can do the best. you got to develop your skills especially those in demand in the market right now. your university education will teach you the introductory part but the rest depends on you. those stories about IT grads not successfull on acquiring a job only happens if you're not 'hungry' enough to learn and re-learn the trade (just as one of many examples). so i wish you all the best in your future and may our path cross in the future.

ok, now you're wondering where's the story about a girl and an ex-girlfriend. i think this entry is kinda long so i'll write about it later :). regards.

hey, anyone out there?

it's been a while since i last blog due to some unexpected circumstances. so here's some updates.

1. my finals are over. done. finish. BUT i'm not off the hook yet because...

2. i have to do a second presentation this coming monday. seems that despite the numerous attacks by the panel regarding my final project they seem to like it. the project was shortlisted for the best final project. i highly doubt it that i'll be selected for the best among the best. but i'll sure do the best i can.

3. my ex-girlfriend who i haven't met for years called me recently. had a chat for what seems like an hour. claimed that she searched for me for years. said this and that and i basically don't know how to react to this.

4. my birthday's coming up next week. sad thing is i can't celebrate it at home due to this freaking presentation. my birthday is just the day after that presentation. my friends at home are bugging me to come back but i got so many things to do. aiyaa...

so there you have it. latest updates of someone insignificant to anyone. i don't even know if anyone reads this blog. but if you happen to stop by, kudos to you mate!

another one of those days...

this one was my two cents on a topic in i-bands. the original topic was 'kenapa muzik rock tak diterima lagi?'

Erylasia wrote:
tapi rock sekarang hanya mahu jadi terkenal je, apa tu rock pun tak tahu;;;;
satu lagi yg aku tak agree ...kenapa music rock sering dikaitkan dgn cintan, his benci aku .....


em. sebenarnya lah aku rasa, bukan saja muzik rock je yang dikaitkan dengan cinta, infact banyak lagi lagu dari genre yang lain yang ada elemen cinta.

pendapat aku ialah memang lumrah manusia untuk merasai cinta (haha..jiwang habis ayat hehe) even to the greatest hard rockers, heavy metalist, guitars gods alike. it's an inspiration to write songs base on their current emotions. and ofcourse they write songs that they are usually accustomed to. and love is not just love for the tangible things if you'd realize that. it's abstract, it's untangible, it motivates, it drowns, it's everthing and nothing all at once (ok, being too idealistic here so i'll stop talking about love).

put that aside. if you'd notice, there is a new wave or movement of comeback in rock songs. bands to name a few such as the darkness and jet applies rock n roll in every aspect of their song hence the solo work and the progressive rock chords. names like jimmy page, martin friedman, ritchie kotzen, paul gilbert, van halen, etc are becoming known again by the new generations of young rock-addicts everywhere. even trivium applies so much influence in their songs if you hear it close enough (note: i really like the vocals style).

yeah the particular scene in our industry for rock music seems bleak and uncertain for the moment and i believe that it will take time for the main players of the industry to even realize the abundant talents we have here. for instance, if you look back at the indonesian music industry, they manage to evolve and be accepted somehow in relativeness of rock music in the mainstream arena. i trully believe that what's happening now in our country is that the major labels are afraid to open their doors and signed up a real bonafide rock band. they tend to look at figures, look at what sells the most. it's trully sad it's becoming this way. 10 years back, people in indonesia are idolizing our bands such as search and now, our people today idolize their bands and not vice versa.

do you know, that for a rock band to release their album, major labels are only releasing albums base on the break-even point quantity of albums?if only their sales reach break-even, only then they will release more albums to sell. this was told by a friend of mine who just recently released their new album.

another factor here is the radio. how much rock music i mean real rock music do you hear on radios nowadays? hardly any. it's full with pop, hip hop, ballads, boy bands who can't play their own stuff genre music. the only way you can get to hear rare stuff raw talent in radios IMO are the red rottw show at 104.9 and sadly the time they air it is on thursday starting at 12:00 midnight (slalu terlepas). oh, and i do love to hear bode's band box from our own i-bands.

so my conclusion is that we just need to keep on ROCKIN TO THE BONES and make ourselves be notice. so i think that's my two cents here for this topic and i hope that we all should share knowledge and passion of music together to create an utopian of talented musicians in malaysia.

** fadhli's brain is actually on overdose of caffeine and tobacco because of his studying for the finals. this article is written mainly to kill time and to show how passionate he is in playing the guitar and making music and how he wants the rock industry be the main thing in malaysia. okeh, time for study!